Jiaozi

Puppy love

Well, I'm a big fat liar. Less than three months after stating for the record that I'm a cat person, and nothing but a cat person, look who's coming to dinner. That's right, we got a dog.

This is much like the time I swore we were never going to adopt agan and then I caught myself looking at waiting child listings. I should have known better than to promise we were never getting a dog at the same time that I was haunting petfinder.com "just out of curiosity."

The turning point came when I stopped seeing a dog as something the kids wanted and considered whether it might be something I wanted (I already knew Big A secretly wanted a dog but would not admit it). Now that I'm working at home more, I've been looking for ways to force myself to be more active. Also, when Big A is on a business trip, as he was last week, it's downright lonely here during the day. The big hurdle is that my family never had a dog, I know nothing about dogs, and most of the dogs I meet seem to be rather ill-mannered. But I did some research, consulted with friends, conducted a searching and fearless self-inventory of myself, and started sending out inquiries. I knew we did not want a puppy. I knew we wanted a medium-sized dog, neither a toy nor a Big Dog. I knew the dog had to see cats as potential friends, not prey.

I had a hunch about a one-year-old dachshund/Australian shepherd/mystery mix that had been rescued from a kill shelter in California. She was described as sweet and crate-trained. We had her brought out for a home visit to meet the kids and cats. (This was like a home study in reverse -- I worried that if the house was too tidy, the rescue people would feel we were not ready for a dog, so I left newspapers and shoes lying about.) Once we saw her, the jig was up. She was adorable. The cats didn't like her -- heck, the cats don't like each other -- but she didn't seem compelled to chase them. She didn't know spoken commands but was basically well-behaved.

It has been two weeks now, and I can say that the hunch proved right. She is a very nice dog. She does not jump up on people. She is quiet. She acknowledges that A and I are the alpha dogs. She loves our yard and runs figure eights around the trees at breakneck speed; we may need to put her in agility training as well as obedience classes. She is a lovely companion who gets me outside for walks and play time. The cats are still mad, but we give them extra love and make sure they have some dog-free time several times a day.

I am learning a lot about dog world -- where dogs can and can't go, the protocol involved when your dog meets up with another dog, what dog body language means. It's a whole new dimension for me, and I'm enjoying it. I guess you really can teach an old dog new tricks.

Three years

May had an adoption anniversary this month -- she has been part of our family for three years now.

What an amazing journey she has had. It's hard to believe she was Ella's age when we met her. She was small and shy, but she had inner strength and a sure knowledge of who she was. Today she is hip and stylish and on the cusp of being a teenager, in attitude if not in years. She loves chic clothing, jewelry, and hairdos. She calls herself a fashionista, and the title fits. She also admits to being a chocoholic. She still struggles with English conventions, yet she is a wonderfully creative poet and short-story writer. I am in awe of her creative-writing ability. I think she may have a future as a writer, but the choice is hers.

This summer she discovered two passions that I believe will stay with her for a long time. The first is dance. She has taken Chinese dance for three years, but during the summer she also took a hip-hop class and attended ballet classes with a teacher in Chinatown. She did quite well in the ballet class -- the teacher is traditional Chinese and expects high levels of discipline, so it was a crash course for her, and she learned a great deal in just a few weeks. Chinatown is a long drive for us, and I complained about the inconvenience, but we wound up having several adventures there, catching a street fair, getting a close-up view of a lion dance, and stopping by the Chinese bakery after class for hot-dog rolls and strawberry whipped-cream cake. The hip-hop class, on the other hand, was pure fun, and she demonstrated a knack for the complicated steps and sassy attitude. This year she is taking jazz and hip-hop dance and having the time of her life. She choreographs her own dances and has big plans for the talent show this spring.

Her second new passion is reading. She learned to read in English within a few months of arriving here, but it has taken her a long time to build her vocabulary and world knowledge enough to get much out of her reading. She latched onto the teen fiction section of our little local library, and for the past four months she has burned through two or three novels a week. She especially enjoys stories of misery, and if people solve their problems with magic, so much the better.

Sometimes I worry that she's getting spoiled and may turn into a diva. She complains about doing chores, doesn't like to walk when she can ride, and pouts when she doesn't get her way. We stand our ground, and we can usually make her laugh and snap out of her bad mood. I tell her (as I tell all the girls) that we're not raising princesses.

But then I am reminded of how much she has to make up for. We were talking this morning in the kitchen. I teased her, "Remember, you're not a teenager yet." (She'll celebrate her 12th birthday in a few months.)

She replied, "But maybe I am. We don't really know." She's right. Her birthdate was assigned by the orphanage.

I said, "I keep hoping that maybe you gave the orphanage some information that made them give you that birthdate. Maybe you told them you were born during the Year of the Rat. Maybe you said it snowed on your birthday."

"Mom!" she said. "How could I tell them that? I never had a birthday! For eight years, no party, no presents, not even a cake. I didn't know when it was my birthday."

So -- can I be blamed for spoiling her, trying to inject a little magic into her life? She really is a good kid, despite enduring the kind of childhood most of us have only read about.

Interlude

I'm way overdue to post something new, but hey! I am doing real work, for money. Not enough to worry about the Obama tax plan or anything, but real money. Meanwhile, we've had another adoption anniversary, some changes around the house, and unabated campaign fever.

I'll be back in a few days with something. In the meantime, feel free to share your favorite Joe the erstwhile plumber quote. Here's mine: "You know, I’ve always wanted to ask one of these guys a question and really corner them and get them to answer a question for once instead of tap dancing around it, and unfortunately I asked the question, but I still got a tap dance [from Obama]. Almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr."  (NY Times)

Twelve years

The beginning of this month marked 12 years since we first set eyes on Bess. She was a jolly, calm baby who didn't cry a peep when she was handed to us and never looked back when we took her to our room. At 11 months, she had no teeth, but she did have many delightful tricks, such as playing peek-a-boo. She was not developmentally delayed at all. I fed her peas that I mashed between my thumb and forefinger and let her suck on Rice Krispies since Cheerios seemed too big for her. When she had enough of us, she would pull her blanket or the hem of her shirt over her face to get a break from the stimulation. She still has a look I call "the veiled look" because it's as if she is drawing a veil across her face -- she becomes completely unreadable. Fortunately, she is also still jolly. But she doesn't fit on my lap anymore.

Brooding about the election

I don't know what to say about the presidential campaign. Or maybe I have too much to say. I'm worn out and there's still almost a month to go. I'm going to resort to bullet points.

• The polls look good, but I'm a nervous wreck. If I remember correctly, the polls looked pretty good for Gore in November 2000. Exit polling in Florida had him projected to win that state. One thing I've learned is to ignore the general polls and look at the electoral map. That looks good too. But I figure we can't count on Ohio or Florida because there is a history of vote-tampering in those states. Where else will there be monkey business this time? Unbelievable that in America we have to worry about eligible voters being kept from casting their vote and valid ballots being "lost" somewhere.
• I knew the right was going to resort to smear tactics, and yet I hoped they wouldn't. I am so sad to see McCain throw his reputation away trying to win this particular battle. I am sad that the Obama campaign has to respond in kind (though I still think Democrats are lousy at this sort of thing and haven't really taken the low blows they could). But history has shown that they can't ignore the attacks (McGovern) or continually be on the defensive (Kerry).
• There's still time for an October surprise. So far the McCain campaign has been full of supposed game-changers. They'll really have to pull out something big. Possibilities: He could replace Palin at the eleventh hour with someone popular, like Giuliani. The Homeland Security threat level could suddenly (and inexplicably) jump into the orange or red zone, making national defense more of a concern than the economy. Any other guesses?
• Make no mistake, race is a huge factor in this election. Nobody wanted four more years of Bush policies. A white Democratic candidate would have been a shoo-in. There are still people, particularly in the South, who will not vote for a black candidate. The Democrats took a huge risk nominating a black man. On the other hand, his nomination has galvanized young and minority voters. Black voters who never felt they had a stake in an election are becoming involved. It's a beautiful thing to see. If this dream, too, is deferred...I just don't know what will happen. I can't imagine how badly it would crush people's spirits.
• I learned a new term: "racially coded." When Palin calls Obama "dangerous," when the right makes a point to refer to Barack Hussein Obama, when McCain calls Obama "that one" or assumes that a black audience member doesn't know anything about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, when Fox News refers to Michelle as "Obama's baby mama," when right extremists try to claim that Obama was not born on U.S. soil and was raised Muslim, those are thinly veiled attempts to portray Obama and other blacks as "different." Palin says, "This is not a man who sees America like you and I see America" -- well, duh, Sarah. Of course he doesn't see America the way you do. His experiences are totally different from yours. That doesn't make his viewpoint wrong. And it certainly doesn't make him a traitor.
• See, I don't know where those accusations are going. If you believe the conspiracy theorists that Obama wasn't born in Hawaii, was raised Muslim, is a friend of terrorists -- where does that lead you? To a Manchurian Candidate scenario where a child born to an 18-year-old woman grew up to attend Harvard Law School and ran for public office just so he could overthrow the U.S. government and turn the country over to Muslim terrorists? Riiight. But my fear is that over time the whispers will start to get to the undecided voters, in the same way that the so-called Swift Boat Veterans chipped away at John Kerry's reputation.
• When Cindy McCain says Obama has "waged the dirtiest campaign in American history"...I don't know what to say. It's the neoconservative black is white, up is down, George W. Bush is brave and John Kerry is a coward mode of attack. Does she really believe that? Would it be "dirty" for me to say it must be the Vicodin talking? Or to link to this article in Rolling Stone?
• I'm exhausted. That's it for now. How do you like my new page design? I took the picture on the banner at the Forbidden City in Beijing. In the People's Republic of China, the communist country where my children were born. On foreign soil. It says so on their U.S. passports and certificates of citizenship.

Prepare to do battle

Things are going to get ugly, folks. The McCain campaign is going after Obama on issues of character and personal associations, whatever that means. They've decided to let Sarah Palin be their attack dog. She can say unsavory things without hurting her already tainted reputation, while McCain keeps his hands clean, at least on appearances.

These are the actions of an increasingly desperate campaign, but similar tactics have worked in the past. The out-of-context mention of Willie Horton colored public perception of Michael Dukakis. The so-called "Swift Boat Veterans" managed to paint John Kerry, a decorated war hero, as a coward, while deflecting attacks against George W. Bush, who by all accounts skipped out on his National Guard service. The Bush campaign even smeared the reputation of John McCain in 2000, suggesting that he was a traitor and father of an illegitimate child.

I refuse to see this country Swift-boated again. If people do not like the Obama-Biden ticket's policies, fine. If they want to raise questions about Obama's relative inexperience, fine. That's fair game. But to play on white racist fears of blacks and Muslims by suggesting he has ties to radicals and terrorists is unfair and untrue. It's easy to debunk these stories -- check Fight the Smears and the nonpartisan FactCheck.org -- but many people don't want to be bothered, and once people's deepest fears have been activated, it's hard to calm their overexcited limbic systems. Beware a populace that is voting with its reptile brain.

The problem is that Democrats are lousy at fighting smear tactics. George W. Bush was no choir boy, but the left either couldn't or wouldn't bring up rumors of his National Guard desertion, cocaine use, or one-time girlfriend's abortion. (Dan Rather tried, and it cost him his career.) Neither John McCain nor Sarah Palin is in any position to be throwing stones. Stories about Palin's past include Troopergate, some interesting church experiences, out-of-wedlock pregnancy (she herself eloped with her high school sweetheart 8 months before her first son was born -- you do the math), and what may be some creative tax accounting. McCain reportedly has a history of reckless behavior, was involved in the Keating Five, left his first wife (who had been in a disfiguring automobile accident) for a younger woman, publicly called his wife Cindy an unmentionable word, and as recently as 2000 referred to the Vietnamese as "gooks."

Hey, who knows. Maybe these stories are exaggerated. Maybe repeating them is a little like saying Obama is "palling around with terrorists." I'm sure Sen. Obama is too much of a gentleman to bring this stuff up. Nor should he be distracted from real issues by being put on the defensive over the past deeds of someone whose hand he perhaps shook at some point in his political career. No candidate is perfect -- no voter is perfect -- and our job is to separate serious character flaws and erroneous positions from the chaff of life.

As Sgt. Friday used to say on Dragnet, "All we want are the facts." (He never actually said, "Just the facts, ma'am." It's amazing what you can learn when you do a bit of research.)

Serious issues

Ella and May were playing "computer" in the back seat of the car coming back from the fair. This is a variation on "1-800-Bloody-Hell" and other games they play that mimic grownup business.

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May [in a robotic voice]: Enter your user name.

Ella [as if she's typing]: Ella. Enter.

May: Enter your password.

Ella: Efron. Enter.

May: That password has low security.

Ella: Efron5. Enter.

May: Passwords must have at least seven characters.

Ella: Efron55. Enter.

May: Accepted. Please re-enter your user name.

Ella: Ella. Enter.

May: I'm sorry, that user name is not recognized.

Ella: But I just used it!

May: The system is having serious issues and will shut down in one minute.

Ella: Well, what am I supposed to do now?

May: Log on to SeriousIssues.com.

Ella: Okay, okay. SeriousIssues.com. Enter.

May: Enter your user name.

Ella: Ella. Enter.

May: Enter your password.

Ella: Efron55. Enter.

May: I'm sorry, that password is not recognized.

[Repeat ad infinitum]

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Sort of like real life, isn't it?

You say "elite" as if it were a bad thing

During the 1992 vice-presidential debate, I remember watching Dan Quayle and thinking, "You know, he's not as dumb as everyone makes him out to be." And this was not just in comparison to Admiral Stockdale, who was a bit out of it. Quayle answered a question -- I think it was about foreign relations -- and his response was well-informed and thoughtful. He knew the names and issues. He did not refer to notecards. He did not sound like a ditz. Of course, he'd had four years to learn the job, but the important thing was that he did. And hey, the man had a law degree and quite a few years of government experience behind him. He'd paid his dues.

I was relieved to realize that perhaps we hadn't been a heartbeat away from disaster for the previous four years. Maybe he wasn't a great speller, and certainly I didn't agree with all his positions, but he knew much more about foreign relations, the economy, and the U.S. government than I did. I like that in an elected official.

I have waited 8 years to have the same sort of epiphany about George W. Bush, and it has never come. Former Bush aide Karen Hughes used to talk about how intelligent Bush is, but I've never seen it. I kept hoping it was all an act, that one day the media would catch him saying something smart when he thought his mike was off. No such luck. What you see is what you get. The guy just isn't that bright, despite his Ivy League education, and he couldn't do his job without a lot of help (and someone feeding answers into his earpiece). The results are in the news every day.

I'm getting the same feeling from Sarah Palin. Maybe she's nervous. Maybe she's been overcoached. Maybe she will dazzle us all Thursday with her heretofore hidden brilliance. But I'm not holding my breath.

In part this is because she has adopted the pervasive neoconservative attitude of condescension toward the educated and accomplished. She sneers at the "media elite." (I suspect that the so-called "liberal media" have morphed into the "media elite.") She sniffed at the privileged when asked why she hadn't applied for a passport until last year:

"I'm not one of those who maybe came from a background of, you know, kids who perhaps graduate from college. Their parents get them a passport and give them a backpack and say, 'go off and travel the world.' No, I've worked all my life. In fact I've had two jobs all my life until I had kids. I was not a part of, I guess, that culture."

Oh, Sarah. Come on. I put myself through college using scholarships, work, and student loans. (Surely you got some scholarship money for winning the Miss Wasilla pageant? Maybe you took out some loans to attend Hawaii Pacific University?) I worked darn hard. After I paid off my loans, I worked and saved some more until I had enough money to travel to Europe when I was in my 30s. Though I do come from "a background of, you know, kids who perhaps graduate from college," my parents didn't buy those things for me. I went to college and traveled because I wanted to, because I was curious about the world and wanted to learn more about it. So I'm not buying that excuse. What the heck is "that culture" anyway? I don't remember the characters in Dynasty or Dallas spending a lot of time attending university or backpacking through Europe. (I knew kids whose parents paid for everything, but they certainly didn't backpack; they went first class.)

In an interview with Katie Couric, Palin could not name a single newspaper or magazine that she reads, despite claiming to read "all of them." Really? Come on, can't you at least admit to reading People while you're getting your hair done? Don't you check the local news in the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman? I suppose that she believed she ought to say something prestigious, like The Wall Street Journal or National Review, but couldn't come up with their names. She should have been truthful. Heck, I read People while I'm getting my hair done. I'm not too proud to admit it. But it seems that, as David Suskind said of George W. Bush, she's "not much of a reader." If that's the case, how are her handlers preparing her for the debate? With picture flashcards?

So we'll see. We'll see if she can give Dan Quayle a run for his money. And we'll see how many times she uses the word "elite" or variations thereof. And I'll think how odd it is that education and intelligence have become objects of derision in this great country.

Update: She showed that she has a tremendous ability to memorize talking points. I'll give her that. But does she even know what an Achilles' heel is?