It's true. I am the world's meanest mom. Just ask my kids. Listed below are a few of the things I haven't let my kids do lately.
- Sit in the front seat of the car before they turn 13.
- Get a Facebook account before they turn 13.
- Get a Facebook account between the ages of 13 and 18 without adding me as a friend.
- Eat chips for breakfast.
- Stay out until midnight before age 17.
- Stay in bed until noon.
- Spend the entire day watching television.
- Leave their dirty dishes for someone else to pick up.
- Skip their chores.
- Get through the summer without cracking a book.
- Buy an $85 swimsuit.
- Buy $130 boots.
- Sass me.
- Sass their father.
- Yell at their sisters.
- Watch R-rated movies.
- Put their elbows on the table.
- Text at the dinner table.
- Text in a restaurant.
- Text while I'm talking to them.
God! It's like prison here, am I right? Literally every other teenager gets to do these things!
Here are some other things teenagers get to do that my kids do not:
- Go on family vacations to Hawaii, Mexico, or Europe. Every year.
- Miss school to go on family vacations.
- Go boating, fishing, and water-skiing on their family's boat.
- Go camping in their family's RV.
- Go skiing and snowboarding every weekend in winter.
- Get HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax.
- Watch R-rated shows on HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax.
This family is so boring! We never do anything! (Trips to China don't count. Neither do trips to Oregon, Canada, or Disneyland.)
Heck, I want to live with those other families. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.
Do I have any competition for the title of world's meanest mom, or do I get the lifetime achievement award? Tell me I'm not the only meanie out here.